Spacegoat’s Portal

Hello all. I’ve been riding a metaphorical roller coaster since my last post. Last week, the week before memorial day weekend, I was in Illinois for a course. I stayed in a hotel for 5 nights, and I did not cope well. The hotel had continental breakfasts with some healthy choices so I was covered there, but I had to go out for lunch and dinner.

My diet was pretty much out the window the first night when I had a big mushroom Swiss burger at Chili’s. I tried tracking my points the next day but it became such a guessing game that it became sort of pointless. So I decided to loosen up a little. I would have still been OK I guess. I didn’t eat anything gargantuan. This place called Jason’s Deli was near the hotel and I ate there a few times. They had this awesome pastrami and corned beef sandwich. *drool* It was big. Easily a 1500 calorie meal with the chips, but I don’t think I would have gone over 3000 calories, being indulgent once a day.

I was doing OK on my exercise too. The hotel didn’t have an exercise room unfortunately. So I walked a lot. I went down to historic down town Naperville a couple of times, and waalked around the river over there. It was nice. The area kind of reminded me of Uptown here in Minneapolis. I had a couple of days walking over two hours. Not all at once. I was getting really bored there so walking was something to do.

So I could have maintained. Maybe a small gain, but I can accept that. That boredom was a bitch though. The basic cable at the hotel sucked. The TV itself sucked. A Walmart special CRT TV, all warped and fuzzy, and low rez. Anyway, the Twins were in town playing the Sox, so I was looking forward to watchng the games during the evening. But no, they didn’t carry that channel. Or maybe they have some sort of blackout rule or something. I dunno, long story short, the boredom drove me to drink. I bought a long island iced tea mix on Wednesday. On Friday I found some scotch for cheap.

Now I’ve had a past with alcohol. Before my little eureka moment a couple years ago, I was a big drinker. I think booze played a bigger role on my weight than food. I would drink 2 or 3 times a week. By “time” I mean at least a twelve pack. I never considered myself an alcoholic. I’m not one of those pussies at AA who are powerless against their alcohol. But I knew I couldn’t turn things around for myself without stopping the binge drinking. And I did obviously. I quit for several months, and I’ve learned to resist the “thirst” and now drink every month or two when the occasion arises.

Last week was unusual though. I dunno, maybe it was the boredom, mixed with the stress of being alone, away from home, what happens in Naperville stays in Naperville. But you know, while I may not have a problem with not drinking, I seem to have a problem when drinking. That is to say I drink like a fish. I woke up at 5AM on Saturday. The bottle of scotch was empty, and I don’t remember finishing it. I was in bed when I woke up, so I know I had the presence of mind to go to bed. I just don’t remember doing that. Needless to say I felt like death warmed over. I went back to sleep for a few hours but I had to fly home that day.

And what a miserable day that was! If you ever drink so much you black out, the best thing to do is to spend the day in a dark, quiet room. One of the worst things to do is run off to an airport and spend a day traveling. Ugg! A drive, a flight, a train, and a bus ride later, I finally got home at about 3:00. I went right to bed for a good nap.

The next morning (Sunday) I checked the damage caused by by binge eating and drinking. I was up to 203lbs. That set me back to my April 22nd weight, about 4 lbs. So I gained a month in a week. Well… not quite.

I’ve been kind of motivated since then. It was a fine memorial day weekend and I enjoyed the weather by walking lots. And I’ve been walking lots every day this week. I dropped down to 201lbs by Wednesday and this morning I dropped to 198lbs. Sure, I know I didn’t lose that much weight in fat. I think it’s water weight. I think what happens is your body retains more water when on a sustained calorie surplus than a sustained deficit. That’s why you lose more in the first two weeks of a diet. It makes sense anyway.

Whatever. I’m glad to be back to my old routine, packing lunches, making my own meals, not drinking.

Hello all. Gosh, I’ve really been neglecting my blog. It’s been three weeks since my last post. I’ve been using the Facebook a little, and I guess I’ve been scratching the social networking itch with that. But you really can’t post 1,000 word rambles in Facebook, and I’m well over due for a good ramble.

A lot has been going on at work this spring. I got “reorganized.” Not as bad as it sounds. I used to work in the Help Desk department back in the day. I worked as an ipso-facto programmer and system administrator, until I was shifted to Web Services and became a genuine Programmer three years ago. Well now I’m back in the Help Desk as a genuine Programmer. The move has worked well for me so far. We are upgrading our Service Desk management application this year, and I’m the guy doing the installation and programming. I feel like I’m where I belong now. That’s a good thing. My job was becoming tiresome and needlessly stressful. Not to disparage my old department, but I never really found my niche in Web Services and I felt like I was being guided into a role that I didn’t want to fill.

I have a couple of trips to Chicago coming up. The week after next I’m going to a week long class for for the Service Desk application I mentioned. It’s actually Lisle so it’s not like it will be exciting or anything. But maybe I’ll be adventurous and go exploring between classes. Probably not. In June, Brother and I will be heading out to Chicago for real on a little Baseball road trip. We will see The Brewers play the Chi Sox in Milwaukee and then head to Chicago the next day to see the Twins play the Cubs. Then we plan on seeing the sites over the weekend. It ought to be real fun.

On my last entry, I told you I’m going back to the diet thing. That’s been going OK. In three weeks, I’ve managed to get my weight back down a little. My weigh-in weight was 201lbs on Wednesday, but it was down to 200 this morning. I’m in no hurry or anything. I’m in great health. I wouldn’t call myself athletic or anything, but I can spry when I want to be. I go to the gym on the weekends and do 5k runs on the tread mill, and I’m still walking on the week days. If I want to really get the scale moving again, I think I’m going to have to take the physical activity to a whole new level. I certainly can’t eat much less than I am now, so the only way to increase my deficit is through exercise. But gosh darn it, I’m a couch potato! I don’t get enjoyment out of lifting heavy things and doing labor. I’ll be happy to do just enough thank you very much. It took me 18 months to lose165lbs. If it takes me that long to lose the next 20lbs, so be it.

Because I’ve learned in the last 2 months that there is no after. I’ve always said that I could never go back to my old habits, but what I have been coming to terms with lately is that I can’t let up even a little. Maybe one day I will get used to it, but for now I’m going to be hungry after meals.

On that happy note, I will bid you farewell.

It’s been about a month now since I figuratively hung up the scale. My intention was to test my instincts and stop tracking what I eat and try to maintain my wait or even continue losing a little. I thought I was doing OK, but as of Sunday I was up to 204lbs. That kind of sucks, but I’m not going to be all upset about it. I’m doing what I need to be doing by monitoring my weight, and now I will make adjustments.

So I went back to Weight Watchers last night. The Daily Plate is OK, but I’m used to Weight Watchers and I find it easier to count 30 points a day as opposed to 2,000 Calories. And rather than being wishy washy about my goal of kinda losing weight but kinda maintaining, I decided I want to go ahead and take it the rest of the way and get to a ‘normal’ weight.

I always thought of myself as a guy with a “large frame.” Back in the day I didn’t think I needed to be much less than 200lbs, but now I’m thinking I’m more normal than I thought. Granted, I’m still a little on the largish frame side. According to the medical authorities, a guy my age and height should be 132-174lbs. 132 lol! I’m thinking 180lbs is reasonable but they say men tend to see their ideal weight as more than medically recommended. So I’m going to get to that upper limit. Almost. I set my next goal to 175lbs.

I’ll shoot for that anyway, but I’m not going to set any kind of schedule. In fact I may never reach that goal. That’s OK. I just want to keep tabs on my diet. I set my weigh-in day for Wednesday this time so that it won’t interfere with my weekend. I’m going to try not to obsess about it. I won’t post my weigh-ins either, but I will keep you posted on occasion.